Transformation Tuesday: Mentality is Key
Hey everyone! I truly appreciate all of the love and support I have received with my recent news. I cannot believe goals that I once hoped for and thought would never be possible are coming true. Honestly, I know it seems like I am always confident and motivated BUT that is all new. A year ago I was a completely different person, someone I was not proud to be. It's hard to think and remember what I was going through, my reactions, my poor decision making but I know this is where my life change became necessary.
A year ago, I was an emotional mess. I had experienced a serious amount of unexpected loss in a very short amount of time. The support system I was knew was obliterated and I was left feeling lost and alone. It didn't matter if I was surrounded by 5 people or 50 I was drowning in my head and I could not survive. I was dying on the inside but because of my job I had to keep it together. My patients couldn't know that I was unstable and ready to break at any given second. Faking it to make it was crucial to my success.
This was not easy. Honestly, I had no motivation and the only reason why I was going to work was for my paycheck. A job I loved became a burden, but no matter what I was going through the bills were going to be due. I would lay in bed every morning and look at the clock. Watch alarm after alarm go off and yet I never got up. Most days the only thing I did was brush my teeth. Showering was exhausting. I had quit working out and honestly just ate crap all the time. I went from not eating when I was upset to a serious binge, emotional eater. I didn't know it at the time but these decisions would pile faster than I could imagine.
I kept waiting for life to happen. I kept waiting for things to come back. For the life I once knew and loved to come back. But day after day went by and nothing was happening. I was praying but they were empty prayers. God knew my heart wasn't in my life but I knew this struggle was something I would have to decide to conquer. Then life piled even harder. A routine appointment for my wisdom teeth became a moment that God said to me here is your chance to make a change. Having the surgeon sit me down to tell me he found a life threatening mass and how the next 9 months would be spent with multiple surgeries, appointments and treatments was not what I needed. But for some reason it was what needed to happen. Getting my health and my life back on track was now necessary.
After my first coupel surgeries, I started working out but soon quit. I was bored. I was lacking motivation. I needed a serious change or this depression was going to consume me. That is when I decided to join a health and fitness group. This group provided me the support without judgment to make that big leap. To take control of my life, my health and my well being. I had no idea at the time but I had just made the BEST decision of my life. This group was my game changer. I never knew how one small decision could domino into the best life I could live.
In these groups, I gained confidence. I had a purpose. I had goals and life started to give me reason to wake up. I started waking up at 5am to get my workout in so I could devote my attention to it. Then an opportunity came, the chance to help pay it forward to others who were struggling like me. I didn't know how someone so unstable at one point could lead others. But if others saw potential in me then this was something I needed to try. So I did! 8 months later I am writing this blog. It is thanks to Beachbody I am my healthiest and most fit. It is thanks to this group and my team that I get up excited for everyday to start my life.
Was this easy? No. Were people skeptical and questioning my intentions? Of course. But I put my blinders on and I decided GIVING UP WAS NOT AN OPTION. I had to realize only I could change my life. Only I could provide the desire and heart to get my life back. It is all about actions, it is all about simple decisions. We are in complete control of how we react to life. We may not be in control of life's events but we are in total control of how we react. I started taking control of my life. I started accepting that my poor decision making had put me in a terrible place.
I decided to stop obsessing about being a perfectionist and start living my life day by day. Sometimes moment by moment. I had to just take it slow. I had to give myself credit for just making it through that day and going on to the next. It took me a long time to build myself back up. Honestly, I am still a work in progress. I strive for progress, not for perfection. Perfection does not exist to me. If we cannot grow then what do we have? There are still the days where I remember everything I lost. The days when you see something and it reminds you of a past you loved, of some of the best times of your life. I do not regret anything honestly.I will always give my all in everything I do whether it lasts or not.
Your mentality is key in being successful and conquering all of what life will throw at you. Once I seriously started making a change in the way I thought, my life started to turn around. The world truly gives back what you give out. So take today to start making the positive change you need. Be the change you need. Don't look to others for the desire to change. Look in yourself. Remember you are your only competition. You decide what happens to you. Do not let others bring you down. Do not let the hate from others effect your decisions. If you want something then work hard for it. Put your blinders on and go for it. Love yourself because you are AWESOME!
